Funny Christmas cards for your brother

A funny card for your brother should sound like something you would say in the car. Short, a bit mean, and about something real: the car, the kids, the hairline, the barbecue. The best ones end up as a text thread.

3 things to write inside

Swap in their name. Change anything that doesn’t sound like you.

  1. funny Merry Christmas, [first name]. I have bought you something you will love and I will deny it was me if it goes wrong.
  2. funny [first name], if you read this on Christmas morning, it means you are up before noon. Impressive. Happy Christmas.
  3. funny Dear [first name], this card is your present. Do not look at me like that. The thought counts, and the thought was 'what is the cheapest thing that still counts'.

Questions people ask

What should I write in a Christmas card to my brother?

Write what you would say if you were not embarrassed. One dig, one thank you, and a reference only the two of you get. Brothers usually reply with a joke and mean the same thing, so you do not need to overthink it.

Is it okay to send a rude Christmas card to my brother?

If you two already roast each other, yes. Keep it affectionate and aimed at something he can laugh at, like his taste in music or his parking. Avoid anything about a real sore spot, such as a break-up or his job.

How do I make up with my brother in a Christmas card?

Keep it short and honest. Say you miss him, say Christmas made you think of him, and leave the door open without going through the whole argument. A small, plain note often does more than a long apology.