Rude Christmas cards for your cousin

Cousins can get away with more than friends, because you can't be dropped. A rude card can needle the haircut, the new partner or the terrible taste in music. Keep it loving and watch the replies roll in.

1 things to write inside

Swap in their name. Change anything that doesn’t sound like you.

  1. rude [first name], you were the worst influence on me as a kid and I owe you for every bit of it. Merry bloody Christmas.

Questions people ask

What do you write in a card to your cousin?

Use a shared memory or a family joke. Cousins grew up with the same stories, so a line like 'remember the holiday house' says more than a general greeting. Add a note about catching up soon.

Is it weird to send a Christmas card to a cousin I rarely see?

Not at all. A short message at Christmas is how plenty of cousins stay in touch. Keep it light, mention something you both remember, and say you'd like to catch up. It rarely feels forced.

Can I send a different card to each of my cousins?

Yes. Choose a card for each one that fits how you know them, and write your own message inside. You can schedule all of them for Christmas morning, so nobody gets theirs late.