Adult Christmas cards

Not every Christmas card is for the kids' table. Adult cards are for the grown-ups who have been through a year and a half of emails and a week of family meals. The humour has a wink in it. Innuendo, sly remarks about the wine, a bit of cheek about what happens after the children are in bed. Nothing explicit, nothing crude. The kind of card you hand to a friend over a drink and watch them snort. Pick one that suits your friendship, then write your own line inside with a straight face. Send it by email or text, and schedule it for Christmas morning, when the first glass is poured.

5 things to write inside

Swap in their name. Change anything that doesn’t sound like you.

  1. funny [first name], I'll be good this Christmas. Probably. Depends how the second bottle goes. Merry Christmas, you.
  2. funny Merry Christmas, [first name]. May your stocking be full and your evening not interrupted by the in-laws.
  3. rude [first name], Santa isn't the sole keeper of a list. Mine involves wine, a long lie-in and you buying the next round.
  4. funny [first name], you've been naughty and I hope you've enjoyed it. Merry Christmas, and see you after the New Year.
  5. funny Happy Christmas, [first name]. Save me a seat, a glass and a very long conversation. We're going to need it.

Questions people ask

What counts as an adult Christmas card?

It is a card for grown-ups, with a cheeky wink: innuendo, wine, naughty-list jokes and a bit of attitude. We keep it light. Nothing explicit, nothing coarse. Think a raised eyebrow, not a locker-room line.

Who should I send an adult Christmas card to?

Close friends, your partner, and anyone who will enjoy a saucy joke over a drink. Keep it away from family members, work contacts, children's parents and anyone who might be uncomfortable. When in doubt, send a funny card instead.

Is it okay to send an adult card by text?

If it is a friend, yes. It arrives as a link, so only they see it. Schedule it for Christmas morning or the evening, and write one personal line inside. They open it like an envelope, which keeps the surprise intact.