Australian Christmas cards

Christmas in Australia is thongs, prawns, a cricket match on the telly and a hot car at the end of the driveway. The tinsel is on, the sunscreen is out, and somebody's uncle is already asleep in the shade. Australian Christmas cards get that. They are for the family and mates who spend the day outside, who say 'merry Chrissie' and mean it, and who know the real joke is a roast dinner at thirty-five degrees. Pick a card with a bit of sun and a bit of cheek, then write a line inside in your own voice. Send it by email or text, and schedule it for Christmas morning.

5 things to write inside

Swap in their name. Change anything that doesn’t sound like you.

  1. funny Merry Chrissie, [first name]. Hope your prawns are cold, your beer is colder and the aircon holds up. See you at the beach.
  2. funny [first name], only in this country do we cook a roast in forty degrees and call it tradition. Merry Christmas, you legend.
  3. sweet [first name], wishing you a Christmas full of sunshine, good food and the people you love. Say hi to everyone for me.
  4. funny Happy Christmas, [first name]. Remember: sunscreen, hat, and don't let Dad near the barbie without supervision.
  5. funny [first name], hope your Christmas is ripper and the flies stay off the ham. Merry Christmas, you drongo.

Questions people ask

What makes a Christmas card Australian?

The summer setting and the humour. Think beach, barbecue, cricket, thongs, prawns and flies at the ham. The jokes are dry, a bit self-mocking and affectionate. A good Australian card sounds like how we actually talk at the back fence.

What do you write in an Aussie Christmas card?

Write it the way you would speak it. 'Merry Chrissie, hope the weather holds and the cricket's on' is a good start. Add a nickname if you have one, a plan to catch up in the new year, and keep the tone relaxed. Short beats formal.

Can I send an Australian card overseas?

Yes. It is a link, so it arrives by email or text anywhere in the world. It is a good way to remind a mate abroad that it is thirty-five degrees here. Schedule it for Christmas morning and they open it like an envelope.