Ridiculous Christmas cards
Some Christmas cards do not make sense and that is the whole point. A reindeer in a hot tub. A pudding with strong opinions. A snowman who has clearly given up. Ridiculous cards are for people who prefer a daft picture over a proper greeting, and who will send you a photo of a lamp in a Santa hat in reply. They work best with the friends who keep the group chat alive all year. Pick the silliest card you can find, then write a line inside that commits to the bit. Send it by email or text. Schedule it for Christmas morning, and wait for the screenshot.
The Airport Reindeer
The HOA Sleigh Ban
The Printer Has Feelings
The Thong Tree
The Twelve Foot Tree
Santa’s Little Security Problem
The Alibi
The Christmas Miracle
The Family Photograph
The Hostage
The Nativity Incident
The Rabbit’s Christmas Dinner
The Small Print
The Witness
Reindeer Licence
Santa in Thongs
The Aircon Treaty
The Christmas Mozzies
The Ham Incident
The Pavlova Inquiry
The Prawn Ultimatum
The Festive Vocabulary
5 things to write inside
Swap in their name. Change anything that doesn’t sound like you.
- funny [first name], I have no idea what's happening in this card either. Merry Christmas. Please don't ask me to explain it.
- funny Merry Christmas, [first name]. This is the card equivalent of a man in a Santa hat falling off a ladder. With love.
- rude [first name], I put in eleven seconds of thought and the result is the stupidest card I could find. You're welcome, you goose.
- funny [first name], may your Christmas be as completely unreasonable as this card. Be good. Or at least be entertaining.
- funny Dear [first name], I looked at four hundred cards and chose this one because it made me laugh out loud in a shop. Merry Christmas.
Questions people ask
What makes a Christmas card ridiculous?
A ridiculous card leans into the absurd: odd animals, impossible situations, a confident picture with no explanation. The joke is that it should not work and does. It's silly for the sake of it, and the person who gets it knows exactly why you chose it.
What do I write inside a ridiculous Christmas card?
Match the energy and commit to the bit. A deadpan line works well: 'I stand by this card.' You can also go in the other direction and slip in one warm sentence at the end, which makes the nonsense hit harder.
Who is a ridiculous card for?
Your daftest friend, your sibling who sends memes at midnight, the colleague who wore the reindeer jumper without being asked. It's for people who enjoy a bit of nonsense. For anyone formal, pick a calmer card.