Christmas cards from the dog

The dog has opinions about Christmas, mostly that it is the one week of the year when someone is home all day and the bins are full of interesting things. A card from the dog lets them say so. You sign it as them, add a few words in their voice, and send it as a link the recipient opens like an envelope.

This works for the grandparents who slip him ham, the neighbour who waves from the fence, the vet who has seen things, and the person who walks him when you cannot. Keep it short. Dogs are not known for long letters. They are known for sitting on the good cushion and looking wounded when moved.

5 things to write inside

Swap in their name. Change anything that doesn’t sound like you.

  1. funny Merry Christmas, [first name]. I have been very good this year. Please disregard the cushion, the bin and whatever happened in the garden. I am told the tree was not a toilet. I disagree.
  2. sweet Dear [first name], I do not know what Christmas is, but I know you are coming and I have been at the window since breakfast. Please stay a long time. I will be the one by the door.
  3. funny [first name], it has come to my attention that you are holding a ham. I would like to be the first to say I love you. I have always loved you. Look at my face.
  4. rude Merry Christmas, [first name]. I rolled in something dead on the beach for you. You are welcome. Do not wash me. I look like a legend and I smell like one too.
  5. quiet [first name], thank you for the walks and the biscuits and for never once telling me to stop. I think about you often. Mostly when I am hungry, but also otherwise.

Questions people ask

Can I really send a Christmas card from my dog?

Yes. You pick a card, write the words as your dog would say them, and send it as a link by email or text. The recipient opens it like an envelope. Most people sign it with the dog's name and a small paw print of their own invention.

What should a dog write in a Christmas card?

Keep it short and a bit guilty. Dogs apologise for things they would do again, thank people for food, and make large promises about the couch. One specific detail, like the sock in the lounge room, makes it land.

Who is a card from the dog good for?

Anyone who has ever fed, walked, patted or put up with the dog. Grandparents, neighbours, the dog walker, the vet, and the friend whose house he treats as his own. It also works for people who do not have a dog but wish they did.