Funny Christmas cards for your wife

A funny card for your wife works when it shows you pay attention. The list she keeps, the way she narrates the car park, her views on your parallel parking. Make her laugh with something that's true. She'll be less annoyed about the lights.

3 things to write inside

Swap in their name. Change anything that doesn’t sound like you.

  1. funny [first name], I've read the list on the fridge and I'll take the sprouts. I can't promise I'll do them correctly. Merry Christmas, love.
  2. funny Dear [first name], I wrapped your present myself. Please admire the sticky tape and the effort. Love you.
  3. funny [first name], you were right about the turkey size, the parking and most other things. I'm putting it in writing. Merry Christmas.

Questions people ask

What can I write in a Christmas card to my wife that isn't cheesy?

Be specific and drop the poetry. Name something she did this year, in plain words, and say what it meant. A line like "I noticed how you handled that week" is more moving than any verse. Then add a short, honest "I love you".

My wife does everything at Christmas. How do I thank her in a card?

Say it directly. Name the jobs she does that nobody sees, say you know how much it is, and thank her. If you can, add what you'll take over this year. A card that comes with an offer is worth more than one without.

Should I send my wife a Christmas card if we're swapping presents anyway?

Yes, and it may be the part she keeps. A present can be forgotten, but words in your own voice get reread. Schedule it for Christmas morning, so it's there before the wrapping paper, and it sets the tone for the day.