Merry Fucking Christmas
A sweary gift book for an absolute legend. 18+, obviously
For someone you love
from you
The Sweary Gift Book · Rude, 18+
18+ · Adults only. It swears like a tradie at a flat-pack.
A gift on every page
Twelve pages, twelve gifts, and more swearing than a Boxing Day barbecue. For the one who has put up with everyone's shit all year and deserves a fucking medal. You fill each page with a gift card, a voucher, something delivered, money sent, a gift given in their name or a promise of your time. They open it from a private link, on their phone, and turn to whichever page today needs: a week that can get fucked, telling them all to piss off, spending money like a dickhead, lying on the couch like a dead starfish, being told you are a legend and not just a fucking survivor.
A$10 · converted to your currency at checkoutone gift book, as many pages as you fill
Secure checkout with Stripe; no account needed. The gifts themselves you buy wherever you like: Tadavite sells none of them and takes nothing from them. Nothing is sent to them until you press Send.
Turn to a page
When you need a drink, not a cup of fucking tea
Tea is for people who've had a nice day. You've had a day. Pour something with a kick.
A gift card from someone who loves you
Dinner on me, delivered
$50
Code
SAMPLE 1234Order the thing you actually want. Garlic bread is not optional.
Added by someone who loves you. Tadavite doesn't sell or check gift codes; ask someone who loves you if anything doesn't work.
From someone who loves youFor the long days.
Page 2 of 12
A sample page. The code is not real.
The 12 pages, and up to 12 of your own
Fill the ones that suit them and leave the rest: only pages with a gift go in the book.
When the week can get fuckedMonday had a go. Tuesday finished the job. Here. Drink this and don't talk to anyone.
When you need a drink, not a cup of fucking teaTea is for people who've had a nice day. You've had a day. Pour something with a kick.
When you need to tell someone to piss offSay it to this page. Loudly. With feeling. Then put on the headphones and pretend they don't exist.
When you need to sulk like a professionalBlanket to the chin. Snacks within reach. Phone face down. Anyone who knocks gets the look.
When you can't be arsed cooking and nobody can make youThe kitchen is closed. The pizza bloke is open. This is not a difficult decision.
When you want to spend money like a dickheadBuy the stupid thing. The one with no purpose. The one you'll have to explain. That one.
When the bastards have ground you downThey tried. They nearly managed. Lie face down on a table and let someone un-knot you.
When you want to be a lazy sod all dayNo plans. No pants. No shame. If anyone asks, you're busy. You are busy. Busy doing fuck all.
When you've put up with everyone's shitAll of them. All year. Smiling. This page is the thank you they should've given you, with a spa attached.
When you need something gloriously fucking pointlessNot useful. Not sensible. Not on any list. A thing that exists only to make you laugh at it.
When your arse and the couch need each otherA love story for the ages. Do not separate them. Feed them snacks and leave them be.
When you need reminding you're a fucking legendYou are. You carried this year on your back and nobody said thanks. I'm saying it. Loudly. In writing.
What a page can hold
- A gift card. A gift card for a shop, a cafe, a cinema or a food delivery app: its code and PIN sit on the page.
- Money sent to them. Money you've sent to their account, with a note saying what it's for.
- An experience. A day spa, a show, a class, a flight: the voucher code and how to book.
- Delivered to them. Flowers, chocolates, a book, pyjamas: on their way, with the page saying so.
- Handmade or personalised. Something made by hand or personalised, from a small maker.
- Given in their name. A gift given in their name to a charity, with the page telling them.
- A promise from you. Something you'll do yourself: a night of babysitting, a visit with lunch, an afternoon in their garden.
How it works
- Pay once. We email you a private link to your book.
- Buy the gifts wherever you like (we have ideas for every page), then put each one on its page: what it is, the code, how to use it.
- Press Send. We email them a private link, or give you their link to send yourself.
- They turn the pages whenever they need one. You see which pages they've opened and used, and can fix a code if one is wrong.
Fully digital: nothing is printed or posted. Questions? info@tadavite.com
Good to know
- Do I buy the gifts from Tadavite?
- No. You buy each gift card, voucher or present wherever you like (we suggest places for every page) and put its details on the page. Tadavite sells none of them, checks none of them and takes nothing from them.
- Is anything posted?
- No. The book is entirely digital. Anything you have delivered, you arrange with the shop.
- Do the pages open on certain days?
- No. Every page is open from the moment you send the book. It's a book, not a calendar: they turn to the page they need, when they need it.
- Can I change a page after sending?
- Yes, until they've ticked that gift as used. Handy if a code was typed wrong.
- Can I change the words on a page?
- Yes. Every page's title and line are yours to rewrite, and you can add up to twelve pages of your own.
- Who sees what?
- They see the pages and gifts. You see which pages they've opened and which gifts they've used. Nothing in the book ever goes in an email.
- How long does the link work?
- A year from the day you send it.
- Is this one really rude?
- Yes. It swears on every page, properly, and means every word kindly. Nothing cruel, nothing aimed at anyone in particular, just the year, the relatives in general and the couch. It is for adults. Do not send it to your nan unless your nan taught you the words.
Not quite them? There are 32 other editions, from For Mum to the sweary one: see all the gift books.